Transitions To A New Home
A sign was placed in our yard two weeks ago. Yep, our home is for sale and we are planning for a move. And it has been an emotional two weeks! When they say selling a house is in the top five stressful things you can do, they are not joking…whoever “they” are. I had no idea until we started going through the process how stressed out I would feel. And like I said…it has only been two weeks! I don’t think I can do this for too long. I need this sale to go like a band aid…just rip it off!
A Comfortable Place To Start
So in the last two weeks we have felt excitement, anxiety, tears, sadness and a whole lot of fatigue caused by stress. We make sure everything is perfect each day before we leave the house. I don’t even feel comfortable in our home right now because I am afraid we will make a mess and then we will have to clean again. So obviously we spend a lot of time away.
We got an offer last week on our house but it fell through after we accepted it. Right after we received the offer, I walked in our house before any one else was home. And as I opened the door, I looked at our sweet home that was welcoming me as it had for the last four years. I thought the walls must think we have betrayed them. For four and a half years, this place has been our comfort. Our first anniversary was celebrated here. We brought home our sweet baby boy to this house and celebrated all the milestones that filled his first four years between these walls. To say I am emotionally attached is an understatement but I also know that we want a bigger space. While we love our home, it was never suppose to be our forever home but a comfortable place to start.
But that night as we let the offer sink in, I cried. I felt like someone was taking our sweet house even though they promised to pay us for it. Buckner looked confused as I let the tears fall. He promised me that we were going to move to a big house and he wasn’t sad. In his mind, a big house is a house with stairs so he is excited.
After the offer fell through, disappointment settled in. Maybe we wouldn’t sell it. But we have new goals so staying, although comfortable, doesn’t match where we want our family to go. The last time I felt these transient emotions happened to be another July. It was four years ago and we were one month from having Buckner. I was miserable in that last month. Of course the eighth month of pregnancy is designed to be phsyically miserable so you don’t dread labor but it was the anxiety that was the worse.
I now know we were anxious because we knew we were leaving the old part of our lives behind (married without children) and moving to the new part (parents). We were so excited and had already left the previous phase behind mentally but were not quite to the new phase. That month was an endless waiting game. I compared it to a never ending Christmas Eve…you knew the excitement was coming but it wasn’t quite here yet.
During that time, we couldn’t focus on the present moment because we were so focused on what was to come. We knew a big change was coming and we were ready but we had no control of when and how that change would arrive. I did my best to stay positive. I made lists of activities to do to keep us entertained as we passed the time. But every day I wanted to be in that next phase.
Four years later we are in the same type of transition. We are ready to move to the next home. We love our home but since we made the decision to leave it, we are now ready to go. Moving is inevitable but we don’t know when or how it will occur. And we have very little control over it. So we will make lists of activities to keep us entertained while we wait and dream about what the next phase looks like while we try to enjoy the last lingering moments of this phase.
How do you handle the transitions of your life?
During this time of transition, I will rely on my love for simple joys in daily indulgences.