Stay at Home Mama in My Mind: A Working Mama’s Daydream
More days than not as I say goodbye to my sweet little man, I am daydreaming about what I could do if I was a stay at home mama. My heart tears if he cries at goodbye, which is often. “Daycare drop off will get easier, ” I was told. Yet almost three years later, I still wipe away my own tears as I drive away. I love my job but I always crave more time with my little guy.
I am an optimist and I would rather feel empowered. Instead of playing victim too long, I ask myself what a day would look like if I was a stay at home mama. I mentally go through the day and then I try to incorporate as many of those special moments in our routine. I prove to myself we can do everything SAHMs are doing. It might not be on the same time frame but I feel consoled knowing that I am creating those special moments even though I work full time.
My imaginary day goes like this:
5:00 am Wake up and get dressed before Buckner wakes up (I am an early bird and our son inherited that trait). Write and have some me time.
6:30 am Second cup of coffee and cartoons with Buckner
7:30 am Breakfast and slow time (cartoons, cleaning up the kitchen, etc.)
8:00 am Get Buckner dressed and straighten house
8:30 am Story time
9:00 am Creative play time (some kind of cool activity that all these stay at home mommy bloggers blog about)
10:00 am Outside play (if it is nice or inside play)
11:00 am Lunch
11:30 am Naptime for Buckner and clean up/write time for me
1:00 pm Wake up slow (cartoons and cuddles)
1:30 pm Snack
2:00 pm Go somewhere! Run an errand or take him somewhere to play like the park or the pool
4:30 pm Get ready for daddy to come home and start dinner
5:00 pm The regular evening routine would begin but a lot less stressed than the usual evening dash because we would have been home all day.
We can’t live in my daydream every day nor do stay at home mommies have blissful days like that but I can do some of it. In reality, the first part of our day is similar but a little more rushed. I still make time for cuddles during one cartoon and a second cup of coffee while he wakes up. We have to make the most of every moment. Unfortunately, this usually means I am running late for work…again.
In my real life, I run errands and clean a lot on my lunch break so I can have more free time in the evenings for family. The evenings are filled with play time, outside time, etc. The weekends are full of special activities like the park, pool or some kind of children’s program. While I don’t have a daily routine of a stay at home mama, I encourage myself that we are still filling his life with all kinds of special moments throughout the week but just on a different time frame.
Some days though I just break down and play stay at home mama. I do a day like the one I imagined. No, it doesn’t always go that smooth and I am using a ton of leave time to do it but being with Buckner as much as possible these days is my priority.
So if you are aching to be at home with your baby but being a full time SAHM isn’t in your budget nor your career goals, give yourself permission to take off work more to have a day like the ones you imagine. Focus on the time you do have. We can do all the cool things the stay at home mommy bloggers are blogging about, we may just have to use our lunch hour to go get the supplies and plan the activity for a weekday night or a Saturday morning. Even though we work, we have precious hours to shower our children with love and we can make the most of that time.